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Literature Text
Chapter 12: Panic Covered Happiness
Week after week Caiti and Theodore went on dates. Anna was usually working when Caiti came over so the two hadn’t met, but Liam usually offered to go on a walk when he knew Theodore was having her over. If Liam couldn’t leave the house he stayed in his room and tried to sleep. Weeks passed and one night Caiti couldn’t sleep. She kept tossing and turning, thinking she should tell Theodore the full story of what happened to her, but she was afraid. She realized she was falling in love with this man and didn’t want anything to chase him away. She looked at her clock. 3 A.M. She gave up on sleep, grabbed her phone, got dressed, and walked over to her computer.
She looked at her phone to see what subjects her student wanted to learn next and saw she had a text from Theodore. She couldn’t resist.
“Sorry if this wakes you, but I figured I’d just drop a text. I’m bored out of my mind and there’s only so much Solitaire that one man can play before it drives him insane. There’s only so much of any game that I can play before it starts driving me nuts. Hope you’re feeling alright.”
She smiled and typed up a reply, “I was trying to sleep, but kept tossing and turning. Gave up and decided to do research on what to teach next. Lyd asked me if I’d ever be able to teach her about social interaction.”
A few minutes later her phone buzzed on her desk with a reply, “Lyd, the shy one who treats you like a big sister, right? You’ve said before you’d like to teach her. Sounds like something you’d both have fun with and I bet she’d really enjoy people watching at the right distance.” Caiti laughed and her phone buzzed again, “You want me to stop by after I get off work tonight?”
As tempting as it sounded and as many times as she’d fallen asleep in his arms she wanted to get some lessons planned. “Maybe later? I want to get this lesson finished up before my student gets back from vacation.”
“Alright. Have fun with your planning. Let me know if you change your mind. I probably won’t fall asleep until around 8 since I’m off at 6.”
She had just finished reading his text when her phone started ringing. “Hello?”
“Caiti?” She recognized her younger sister’s voice even after years of not hearing it.
“May, what’s wrong? Who died? You never call me. Not-“
“Shh! I don’t know how long I have before mom and dad find out I’m talking to you. They got a letter in the mail. A couple of letters, actually. Shit! You text?”
“Yeah. What?” The phone clicked when her sister hung up “Well, that’s weird…”
Her phone started buzzing with frantic text from her sister that was so long the phone broke it up into parts. “Sorry. I shouldn’t be up. You know the old rule. I heard mom and dad talking and apparently they got a couple of letters. One from the cops or city or whoever whatever. He’s out! Yes him. He wrote a letter here to you and mom and dad opened it because there was no return name or address or anything. It came the same day as the letter from the officials. He’s out and he sent a letter. Here. For you. I don’t know anything more than that, mom and dad turned the letter to the cops. I had to make sure you knew. After what he did to you I couldn’t leave you in the dark. Mom and dad finally believe you though apparently. Guess it’s about time. Please, be careful. Call me if you need anything. Cops are looking for him, but I don’t know if they’ll find him. I’m not even leaving the house without less than 2 or more people. Please, be careful.”
Caiti felt her chest tighten as she read the text. The words blurred in front of her as she tried to make sure she read them correctly. Her heart was beating too fast. She couldn’t breathe. She tried to calm down, reminding herself that he didn’t know where she lived now. He only knew where she lived back then. She was safe. But what if he found her now? What if he got her sister?
She heard her neighbor, Ed, getting ready for work and made her way outside, managing to grab her keys. If he could at least drop her off at the hospital she would be fine. Ed understood that she needed help and rushed her to the ER. She waved him off when they got there and he watched for her to get inside. It wasn’t the first time she’d needed rushed to the hospital.
Inside the staff asked her what was wrong and between breaths she managed to squeak “Panic attack” and her mind rushed further into what ifs even as she stood there. What if he found her? What if she had to move again? What if she had to leave Theodore? What if she couldn’t tell him and just had to disappear? What if that meant losing the man she loved?
“Miss, you need to calm down. I can’t help you if I can’t understand you.” The nurse was getting frightened as Caiti started to breathe faster and faster.
“Caiti? What are you doing here? What’s wrong?” Her regular doctor, Dr. Phish, rushed up to her and she managed to get out ‘panic’ and Dr. Phish scolded the nurse who was apparently new and still finishing classes. Phish led Caiti to a cot in the back, telling one of the other nurses to get water before he turned back to Caiti, making the motions he did when he had her do breathing exercises. She couldn’t move past the what ifs involving Theodore and her panic got worse. “Caiti, if you can’t get your breathing under control I’m going to have to sedate you.”
She nodded and fumbled with her phone, pointing at Theodore’s name at the top of her screen. “Call. Theo. Call” Caiti was gasping for air at this point and Phish took her phone, nodding and pressed the call button.
