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About Literature / Hobbyist Heather24/Female/United States Group :iconwordsinourveins: WordsInOurVeins
There's a poem in all of us
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Levi by Bahogar
by Bahogar

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The Starter and The Expert by o-kemono

TRUTH! With this piece the artist shows us clearly how some artists can not only feel but react as well. Within the artist description ...

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Chapter 42: Down Memory Lane

            Devlin was really dead. It was hard to believe, but part of me kind of missed him. Sure, he was a jerk and he was pretty much evil, but he was Duval's brother, and I knew Duval was hurting. For some reason I missed Devlin because now they would never have the chance to make up and be the brothers that Duval had always remembered them being.

            I didn't tell Sam and Luke. That was up to Duval. His brother died, he can tell them. I felt like if I was the one to tell them it would be like an outsider telling you a family member died. Duval drove to the store like he always did, but instead of us talking we both sat in silence, not even the radio or his phone playing. It seemed like we were both lost in our own thoughts. I was thinking about how I wished things had been different and that I'd gotten to know Devlin better than I did. What would have happened if I hadn't feared him in the way I did? Would he have tried to get me into the gang? Would I have had a different view of him?

            "Don't think about the what ifs. It'll only make it worse."

            I blinked and looked at Duval. "That obvious?"

            "A little. I went through it when my parents died. After I'd gotten everything set for us I spent a solid week getting lost in the what ifs, remember?"

            "And everyone asked if you wanted to talk about your parents."

            "Everyone except you. And there was a time when I told you that I was thinking of all the what ifs that could have been and you said if I let the what ifs consume me then I wouldn't be able to move on."

            "Our first real fight. You got mad at me because you thought I was telling you to get over your parents' death when I had meant that you wouldn't be able to live the life they had wanted you to live."

            "I think they'd be pretty happy with where I'm at in life right now." He said, putting his hand over mine.

            He parked and when we got out of the car I grabbed his hand, squeezing. "I think they'd be very proud of you. For everything."

            "I don't know about everything, but I do think you're right. I do think they'd be proud of me."

            We walked around the store, talking about the groceries and going from one end of the store to the other and back and running all over. We laughed and talked about how to cook the burgers and what to have with them. Neither one of us wanted salad so we decided on french fries, but we couldn't figure out which ones at the store. He wanted seasoned, I wanted curly. We searched for some time and finally we found seasoned curly fries.

            When we got home I started putting away the things that needed to go in the cabinet and he put away the things that needed to be in the fridge. Soon enough I felt him standing behind me and he put his hands on my hips. I stopped and looked over my shoulder at me. "I'm done putting the cold stuff away and we have some time before dinner." He kissed my neck. "Is there anything you want to do?" He wrapped his arms around me and swayed a bit, walking me away from the cabinet. "Like go back to bed for a while?"

            "Are you talking going back to sleep or are you trying to get me into your bed and make out with me like some horny teenage boy?"

            "Darn, you caught on to my evil plan." He teased, kissing my neck.

            I put my hands over his and leaned against him. "I might be okay with a few more hours in bed. Not like we have to get to bed early tonight for work tomorrow." I had to admit, it felt good to have a few days off, but the thought of curling up beside Duval made me feel even better. "Let me finish putting things away?"

            He kissed my cheek. "Alright. I'll meet you in the room." He walked away and stopped at the kitchen doorway before turning around. "Ange?"

            I looked at him. "Yeah?"

            "I love you."

            "I love you." I said, blowing him a kiss and watching him walk to the bedroom. I finished putting the last of the groceries away before I walked into the room, slipping under the covers with him. He wrapped his arms around me and we smiled, lying there and I felt his arm shifting under his pillow. Eventually it seemed like he was asleep so I turned and pressed as close as I could with my back to his chest.

            He squeezed me and said "Close your eyes" so I did.

            "What's going on?" I asked.

            I felt his lips on my neck and he whispered in my ear. "I've waited a long time to be able to do this. To do a lot of things." I felt his arm move from under the pillow and his arm moved from where he was holding me. "Angeline, will you marry me?"

            My eyes shot open, thinking he was joking, and I saw a box open with two gold bands in it. Plain, simple gold bands. I didn't have to think for a second before answering. "Yes."

            He slid one of the rings on my finger and I slid the other one on his. "I don't want to imagine a day of my life without you in it, Ange."

            I turned around and kissed him, not needing any words to express myself to him.

Chapter 41: He's Gone

            My phone vibrated a few times before I really caught that it was a phone call. I was sleeping next to Angeline, so I knew it wouldn't be her. Sometimes she went for walks in the morning and got coffee or something and called to let me know she was coming back with something. She had some odd habits. Like breaking my brain by telling me she sleeps without pants in the summer. I pulled away from her and smiled, watching her stir. I kissed her head and she calmed down. I slipped out of our room and looked at my phone. Flint had called me.

            I walked into the kitchen and called him back while I started fixing something to eat. Ange and I had worked the whole week before so we'd mostly ate out or had cold cuts. I settled on a sandwich and made a mental note to get some burgers and grill on one of our days off. We both didn't take the overtime this week because we wanted to spend more time together.

            "Is this you?" He asked when he answered his phone.

            "Of course. Ange would only answer if I told her to pick it up."

            "It's done. Everything's taken care of."

            "Alright. I was debating some things. Trying to figure out some meals. Anything you'd like?"

            "Actually, I was wondering... Could... Could I..."

            "Could you what?"

            "Could I bring Hadley over so you could meet him?" I could hear his voice changing and knew that meant he was blushing on the other end.

            "Yeah. Actually, why don't you both stop by tomorrow night? It's pizza night. You, Hadley, me, Ange. It's family game night."

            "That... That sounds nice. I'll talk to him about it and I'll text you."

            "Sounds good to me. Talk to you later?"

            "Yeah. And Duval."

            "Hmm?"

            "Thanks. For everything."

            "Don't thank me. It's just what I do. Just who I am."

            "And you don't know how good you are. How appreciated you are. Someone needs to tell you more often."

            "Believe me, I'm told frequently. Bye for now." We both hung up and I went back to fixing a sandwich.

            Angeline walked into the kitchen, with pants on, and hugged me from behind while I made her a sandwich. "Maybe we should grill some time? Or pick up some of those pre-made, ready to microwave burgers."

            "I had the same thought about grilling. We're going to the store today anyway, why don't we grill tonight?|

            "Sounds like a plan to me. Anything I can do or get ready?"

            "If you want to grab the chips down that'd be nice. Sandwiches are ready. They're just cold cuts, but they're something."

            "We're out of some things. Do we have a grocery list ready or is that something we're making while eating so we're not making it on completely empty stomachs?" We both laughed.

            "I thought maybe a little of both. Oh, we'll need extra pizza stuff. Two more people coming over tomorrow."

            "Who?"

            I grinned, "You'll see."

            She grabbed the chips and our pen and paper from the fridge for our list and met me at the table. "So obviously burgers, pizza dough, pepperoni, sausage." She wrote down some of the things we already knew we needed to get.

            "Eggs, bacon. Let's throw some brats on there too."

            "For grilling tonight?" I nodded. "Cheddar, bacon, see what ones they have at the store?"

            "Let's see what ones they have at the store before we decide. See what sounds best. They might have some new flavors."

            "That would be interesting. What else do we need? Condiments."

            "That usually takes care of it. Let me check how much sauce I have. Might need to make a new batch." I got up and checked the cabinet where I kept my special pizza sauce. I had enough containers to last a while, but I didn't always have the time to make more of it. "Add sauce ingredients too, please?"

            "I'll have to write it just like that since I don't know what all goes into your sauce."

            "That's okay. I'll be able to grab everything. I've made the sauce since I was a little kid, so I've got it down by heart." I sat back down and started eating, thinking about everything that had happened in the last few days.

            My brother is dead and here I sit, eating a sandwich and talking with my girlfriend while making a list of the things we need at the store. Should I feel bad that I don't feel anything about my brother being dead? He threatened me, he cheated, and he had always been a bad person, but he was my brother. Was. Until he disowned me... If I start feeling bad about him I need to remember that he threatened me, cheated in our fight when we made an agreement that we wouldn't, and he disowned me. He hadn't been the brother I knew for a long time. By the time he died, he was a stranger.

            "Du, are you alright? You don't seem like yourself today."

            I nodded. "I got that call we'd been waiting for a while for."

            "Ah. Missing him?"

            "A little. More like missing the person he used to be. The brother I actually knew. Before all of this happened. Before it was him being a shifter. Before I became a werewolf."

            "I think we all might have at least one good memory of Devlin. Or maybe a funny one. Maybe tomorrow night we could all sit down and remember him? Sort of a memorial service? Maybe before our guests get here?"

            "I don't know what time they're coming, so they could get here before Sam and Luke."

            "Then we have a memory party and just leave out anything about shifters or weres."

            "You're absolutely brilliant, love."

            "So are you." She got up and kissed my head before she went to take care of her plate. When she came back to the table we went back to planning the grocery list. I called Luke and she called Sam to check about pizza stuff. She said Sam seemed grateful for the distraction when she called.

            "Probably working on a new story and got stuck on part of the plot. That seems to happen to him a lot."
For those who follow my blog ( hrshavor.wordpress.com ) You'll be familiar with what I'm saying here. And some of this information is also new, so if you have read the recent blog post you might want to read anyway.

I know what story I'm writing for July Camp NaNoWriMo. It's "Returning". A story I started long ago that I never finished. I don't know why I never finished it, but it's a story that hits me all the time and it's always on my mind. Suffice to say that I've been working on this story in my head for... Around 10-15 years. I started it in a shower when I was a kid and that's how I did the planning. In the shower, in my head. I'm looking forward to it and you'll get to see characters I created long ago. Heavily debating doing a small blog series on meeting the characters so you get to meet some of them before I start writing (or before it's released/posted/whatever I do with it after it's done).

Moving update! The house is coming along. Catfish and I go by the house and walk inside periodically. I have pictures, but I'm not posting because 1) we haven't moved in yet and 2) the house is a mess because of the work that's being done. We've been inside in the daylight and in the night so I get a feel for what it's like during different times of the day. This is helping me with the anxiety I've had about moving. Yes, I still have anxiety about it, but I'm also very excited. And there are things happening with things that I really want to talk about, but I can't talk about. At least, I don't feel like I can talk about them. It's odd and sounds sketchy, but it's all good and nice and makes me happy and I think it makes Catfish happy, too.

He and I got to spend some extra time together this week because he came over for a couple of days which always makes me happy. He and I are at the point (and have been at the point for a while) where we hate saying good-bye at the end of the weekend we have together, so we've started focusing on the fact that soon we'll be living together and "won't have to say good-bye". That's the one thing that gets me through the weekends and the weeks when I can't see him. And through the days where I have time and he doesn't and when he does have time I don't. Unless you know what our schedules are like you might not understand how frequently that really is. Knowing that soon we'll be able to come home to each other and spend at least a little time together each night makes it easier. And knowing that one of the first things we're probably going to do "family" wise is get a puppy/dog. And yes, it'll be adoption from a shelter. There's no question about that. He and I have already agreed. We've also come to a decision on which room will be ours and we're talking about where to put things. I am thoroughly excited about this.

I'm working on edits for "I Know You" aka Flint's Story. That will be the next one I post. I'm still working on stuff for "Meeting Mr. Right" (MMR) and that's a long as hell road right there. If this does or doesn't work out I might try it with Returning. Lots of options there and lots of things to figure out still. It's driving me a little crazy because I haven't had a lot of time to sit down and work on the planning (partly because I'm planning other things and when I do finally have time someone takes it. Like when I had a day off all I wanted to do was relax, work on writing stuff, and edits and I got yanked into cleaning that didn't involve me which also resulted in my hurting myself and heading to work to return items even though it was my day off.) so I feel like I'm constantly behind on that.

If there are any questions, ask.

Peace for now.

~Heather/Razor
  • Mood: Excited
  • Listening to: Background noise.
  • Reading: Dead Ice - Laurell K. Hamilton
  • Watching: Nothing.
  • Playing: Nothing at the moment.
  • Eating: Pecan tassies with vanilla ice cream
  • Drinking: Nothing.

Chapter 40: Free at Last

            Part of me was glad to have everything done with, but part of me wasn't sure what to think or even tell Duval. Yes, his brother was taken care of as I'd promised him. His brother was dead. That's exactly what we'd meant the entire time, but neither of us really wanted to say it. We didn't want to admit that we were planning to kill his brother. He was planning to have me kill him if something went wrong or if Devlin was going to cheat and I was planning on killing Devlin anyway. I had known it was just a matter of time until he eventually pushed me over and I just let everything spill out.

            I was glad I'd gotten the chance to let everything spill out before he was dead. I didn't feel bad about killing him the way I did because it was an easy way for him to go. He didn't feel anything with it and when we go none of us really want to feel it. He died in a good way for shifters to die. With someone who knew him and knew him well, and with someone he had called a friend for a long time. Truthfully, I was his friend. Until he had thought he became Mr. All Powerful Leader Man. That had done nothing but piss me off.

            I went over to my room and changed, calling Duval to tell him that everything was taken care of. I had told Hadley about the plan before, but I made it sound like it was going to be something more fierce than it had been. Maybe if we made it farther down than just a month I'd tell him more about what happened, but there was no need to admit to murder in front of someone who might not be around forever.

            Hadley came over and helped me clean up the body, doing what we do with all shifters and werecreatures that die. We buried him. Nothing had been more important to Devlin than the gang, so we took him down as far as we could and somehow we found a way to get through everything so we could bury him under the building. By the time anyone ever found his body he wouldn't be a body. Shifters live for long periods of time, but when we die we decompose quickly for some reason. Maybe it's the same magic that lets us transform whenever we want or whatever is so super special about us, but it's just how it is.

            "Hadley?" I asked, looking up at him when we got back to my room.

            He squeezed me, holding me closer to him. "Yes?"

            "Thank you."

            "There's no need to thank me. I helped you because it was something that was right to do. Because I care about you."

            We sat in silence for a few minutes. "Hadley... I... I'd have to run it by someone first, but there's someone I want you to meet. His name is Duval."

            "Oh, the other brother. He's not crazy, right?"

            I shook my head. "Devlin wasn't crazy, just set in his ways. Duval is more normal though, yes. He's the one that everyone seems to flock to whenever things go wrong. It's like no one could take care of themselves and everyone thought he was the perfect person to go to whenever the smallest thing happened."

            "And yet you called me when you wanted help cleaning up the body."

            "Hush. I didn't call you because I wanted help, I called you because I wanted you back here. I didn't want you to watch a fight where I might have gotten injured. Yes, I am the better fighter, I've always known that, but there's always the chance that he could have landed more blows than he did. I'm almost surprised that he didn't land more blows than he did. I think, maybe, some part of him was holding back so he would lose." I yawned, curling up against Hadley, my head pressed to his chest. "Tell me a story? Or just talk? I love how your voice sounds when I'm listening through your chest." I muttered.

            "Always. I'd like to meet your friends. It's always nice to see who knew you before I did. You never know what interesting stories they'll have about the person. At least you have people who know about you and accept you for what you are. The only people who really know anything about me didn't want anything to do with me after I became comfortable being who and what I am. My own family wanted nothing to do with me. That's what hurts the most."

            At least you HAD family that you could try and talk with about what was happening with you. I had no one. I was this kid one day, just going around doing whatever, a street kid, and then BAM! One day I'm attacked by what I think is this large, stray dog and then the next time I start getting emotional I start changing.

            "I know Duval... He's a werewolf. And when the full moon is close he can bring on different changes depending on his mood. Is there anything like that for you?" I asked, wanting to learn more about my weretiger before I had to start sharing him.

            I listened as he rambled on, sharing about how he became what he was and about the challenges he faced. He was lucky enough that his family had said so long as he didn't change in front of them or hurt them or really even mention that he was different that he was fine to live there, but he left when he knew that wasn't going to be any sort of life. Having to hide what he was day after day and night after night. He said it wasn't right.

            He was right about that.
That I uploaded 8 poems today.

Those were all from the notebook I had mentioned last week. All from 2014.

I don't have much for descriptions for these pieces as I'm not feeling well.

Woke up around 6 A.M. because my nose wouldn't stop running. I didn't sleep well on top of that because of heat and allergies.

It's been so bad this year that I doubled allergy meds. Yesterday I ended up taking not 1 pill (recommended dosage per day), not 2 pills (what I've been taking lately), but 3 allergy pills. 2 in the morning, 1 in the evening.

I hate allergies. They make me drowsy, I can't think, and I don't even want to read or play games while my allergies are acting up. I have been blowing my nose all day and it won't stop running. I swear I've gone through a box...

Ugh!

~Heather/Razor
  • Listening to: Background noise, my own sniffling.
  • Reading: Too many things...
  • Watching: Burger Paradise 2 (Travel Channel)
  • Playing: Nothing at the moment.
  • Eating: Wendy's
  • Drinking: Sweet Tea, then Lemonade.
For those who follow my blog ( hrshavor.wordpress.com ) You'll be familiar with what I'm saying here. And some of this information is also new, so if you have read the recent blog post you might want to read anyway.

I know what story I'm writing for July Camp NaNoWriMo. It's "Returning". A story I started long ago that I never finished. I don't know why I never finished it, but it's a story that hits me all the time and it's always on my mind. Suffice to say that I've been working on this story in my head for... Around 10-15 years. I started it in a shower when I was a kid and that's how I did the planning. In the shower, in my head. I'm looking forward to it and you'll get to see characters I created long ago. Heavily debating doing a small blog series on meeting the characters so you get to meet some of them before I start writing (or before it's released/posted/whatever I do with it after it's done).

Moving update! The house is coming along. Catfish and I go by the house and walk inside periodically. I have pictures, but I'm not posting because 1) we haven't moved in yet and 2) the house is a mess because of the work that's being done. We've been inside in the daylight and in the night so I get a feel for what it's like during different times of the day. This is helping me with the anxiety I've had about moving. Yes, I still have anxiety about it, but I'm also very excited. And there are things happening with things that I really want to talk about, but I can't talk about. At least, I don't feel like I can talk about them. It's odd and sounds sketchy, but it's all good and nice and makes me happy and I think it makes Catfish happy, too.

He and I got to spend some extra time together this week because he came over for a couple of days which always makes me happy. He and I are at the point (and have been at the point for a while) where we hate saying good-bye at the end of the weekend we have together, so we've started focusing on the fact that soon we'll be living together and "won't have to say good-bye". That's the one thing that gets me through the weekends and the weeks when I can't see him. And through the days where I have time and he doesn't and when he does have time I don't. Unless you know what our schedules are like you might not understand how frequently that really is. Knowing that soon we'll be able to come home to each other and spend at least a little time together each night makes it easier. And knowing that one of the first things we're probably going to do "family" wise is get a puppy/dog. And yes, it'll be adoption from a shelter. There's no question about that. He and I have already agreed. We've also come to a decision on which room will be ours and we're talking about where to put things. I am thoroughly excited about this.

I'm working on edits for "I Know You" aka Flint's Story. That will be the next one I post. I'm still working on stuff for "Meeting Mr. Right" (MMR) and that's a long as hell road right there. If this does or doesn't work out I might try it with Returning. Lots of options there and lots of things to figure out still. It's driving me a little crazy because I haven't had a lot of time to sit down and work on the planning (partly because I'm planning other things and when I do finally have time someone takes it. Like when I had a day off all I wanted to do was relax, work on writing stuff, and edits and I got yanked into cleaning that didn't involve me which also resulted in my hurting myself and heading to work to return items even though it was my day off.) so I feel like I'm constantly behind on that.

If there are any questions, ask.

Peace for now.

~Heather/Razor
  • Mood: Excited
  • Listening to: Background noise.
  • Reading: Dead Ice - Laurell K. Hamilton
  • Watching: Nothing.
  • Playing: Nothing at the moment.
  • Eating: Pecan tassies with vanilla ice cream
  • Drinking: Nothing.

deviantID

Razor13
Heather
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
I write, I take pictures, I offer help when I can. What more is there to say about myself? I've got some great people in my life like :iconphi9bo:, :iconvioletrogue:, :iconlupus2032:, :iconredoctoberrising:, :iconixris:, :iconvulpes-vulpes-fox:, :iconltgdomo:, :iconfreedom-dreamer:, :iconnightquake:, :iconev1l-monsterboy:, :icontheultimatet:, :iconsecretbetweenthewar:, :iconblackwolfsilverpaw:, :iconspiritboundwolf: and many many more.

YIM/e-mail: packwolf13
NaNoWriMo: Razor13 (nanowrimo.org/en/participants/…) (same username for Camp NaNoWriMo)
Blog: hrshavor.wordpress.com/
IMVU: PoetRazor13
Tumblr: poetrazor13.tumblr.com
Current Residence: Same place for 23 years...
Favourite genre of music: Mostly Alternative Rock, but it depends on my mood.
Favourite photographer: Too many amazing people, but I don't look at this much.
Favourite style of art: Have you seen my favorites? I'm open-minded to styles.
Operating System: Win 7 and Win XP
MP3 player of choice: iPod Classic
Wallpaper of choice: I almost always have something up so I don't see this much.
Skin of choice: Mine. Words. Music.
Favourite cartoon character: Jack by Timmit and Cast of Salem Uncommons! Too many more to list.
Personal Quote: "Sometimes the greatest gift is the sound of the one you love walking in the door." - Me
Interests

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:iconvictorde:
VictorDe Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2015  New Deviant Student Traditional Artist
Hi~ watch back please T^T 
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:iconbahogar:
Bahogar Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you kindly for the favorite! Maybe you'll have a suggestion about my design? :)
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:iconltchris:
LTCHRIS Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
Hiya there! :D
Reply
:iconrazor13:
Razor13 Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Hey, how are you?
Reply
:iconltchris:
LTCHRIS Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
I am fine, moving to Oklahoma in two week! :D I am excited!
Reply
:iconrazor13:
Razor13 Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Permanently or temp?
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(1 Reply)
:iconpaintedsunshine:
PaintedSunshine Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for the fave dear!! :heart: I'm so glad you enjoyed reading my little poem~ :huggle: Hope you have a great day!
Reply
:iconrazor13:
Razor13 Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Hope you have a great day too. Keep up the good work!
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:iconpaintedsunshine:
PaintedSunshine Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Definitely! :salute:
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:iconltchris:
LTCHRIS Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
Thanks for the favorite! :)
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